Small Beds and Large Bears

Every year during the twelve days of Christmas I try to read A Christmas Carol. I maintain that it’s no more or less pathetic or maudlin than watching It’s a Wonderful Life every time it’s on, but then whether that excuses it or not, I couldn’t say. This year, K. rediscovered her complimentary copy of [...]

Christmastime and Christmastide wait for no man, and there’s been plenty to prevent me from following up on my doom-laden thoughts about COP15 and what might happen if it failed: which it did. Before 2009 draws entirely to a close it’s probably worth a few brief words on the subject.
It’s important to acknowledge from the [...]

[Seinfeld and Kramer] ‘Merry Christmas!’ said Seinfeld. ‘And a happy new n***er!’ added Kramer. ‘… What?’
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[Simon Cowell] ‘This is the best advent calendar,’ Simon Cowell declared, ‘that I’ve ever seen in my whole life.’
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[Santa and Mariah Carey in a clinch] But Santa—and Mariah!—was otherwise engaged!
(This did actually happen. No Photoshop.)
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[Jedward] “Oh, roight!” said Jedward. “Dat’s fontastic news, so it is. Isn’t dat roight, Santa?”

For those of you who haven’t bought it yet (and how could you not?) there’s a hidden track on the really quite remarkable—the only word for it—Christmas in the Heart by Bob Dylan. Here’s the lyrics to that track, Subterranean Homesick Blue Christmas, for your festive perusal. Merry Christmas, Mr Dylan!

[The Eleventh Doctor] “When Vanessa Feltz ate him, he regenerated into the new Doctor Who. That’s me! I’m Jedward.” And he was!

[The Tenth Doctor] Suddenly, the Doctor appeared. ‘I’ve some important news about Jedward, Jedward,’ he said quickly.

[Susan Boyle] ‘Oy!’ yelled Susan Boyle. ‘That’s MY song,’ she continued, and punched Catherine in the face.
(I should mention that this is fiction and didn’t actually happen.)
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